currents.

To My Depression:

I’m swimming peacefully and gently.

I’m laughing

and smiling

and holding the warmth from the sun.

I want to sustain it so badly.

I want to stay in this bright place.

But your clouds creep in.

Your gray casts a blurry fog across the sky.

Your tide picks up.

Your current gets stronger.

You rage.

You overtake me.

The more I move to stay afloat,

the more you pull me away.

My energy is useless.

Fighting you is useless.

I let go.

I let your current rule me.

I let my body

flow with your dark waves.

I’m not strong enough

to get anywhere

but where you want me to be.

And that’s okay.

I don’t have to fight today.

I don’t have to swim.

I can just be.

Being is enough.

I can embrace you.

I can embrace exactly who I am in this moment.

I don’t need to exhaust myself

by trying to fight.

Surviving is enough today.

I can be proud of surviving.

And I know you’ll go away

and the sun’s brightness

will overcome your dark clouds.

And your current will lighten its grip

and my strength will take me back

to the security of the sand.

And I’ll lay peacefully.

I’ll feel the brightness

and the warmth.

I’ll embrace every source of fulfillment

and fill my days

and fill my heart.

And every time you come back to take me,

and I fade into your darkness,

my heart will remember

the brighter days

that will return

and reward me

as long as I survive.